Camels have it easy. I'm serious. Under the whole "gotta keep a hump of fat on my back in order to stay alive when I can't drink for weeks in the blazing hot desert" facade, when it comes down to mating season, all the male camel has to do to attract a mate is to invert his esophagus and flail it around like a disgusting water balloon.
Hot.
The human male, unfortunately, cannot just unfurl his esophagus and win the love of his life. There are rules to obey, conventions to follow, standards to uphold. For instance, to attract a proper mate, the civilized male must be
strong but not controlling,
sensitive but not submissive,
attractive but not too,
trusting but not too,
interested but not intrusive,
interesting but not overwhelming,
free but disciplined,
clean but dirty,
romantic but realistic,
selfless but self-respecting,
sane but crazy,
wild as a wolf but tame as a dog.
One cannot help but wonder how human civilization has persisted so long when one beholds the grand paradox of one's own courtship display. It is amazing how much time and effort go into complicating it, and how quickly the words "screw it" undo it.
Hot.
The human male, unfortunately, cannot just unfurl his esophagus and win the love of his life. There are rules to obey, conventions to follow, standards to uphold. For instance, to attract a proper mate, the civilized male must be
strong but not controlling,
sensitive but not submissive,
attractive but not too,
trusting but not too,
interested but not intrusive,
interesting but not overwhelming,
free but disciplined,
clean but dirty,
romantic but realistic,
selfless but self-respecting,
sane but crazy,
wild as a wolf but tame as a dog.
One cannot help but wonder how human civilization has persisted so long when one beholds the grand paradox of one's own courtship display. It is amazing how much time and effort go into complicating it, and how quickly the words "screw it" undo it.
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