Monday, January 31, 2011

Swish Flip Swish

I've concluded that a sure-fire solution to the desires of any sympathy-seeking person is to take a job in filing. In the last three weeks that I have been filing at Disney, I have received apologies from my boss, my coworkers, and even random passers-by. "I'm sorry," runs the line, "I couldn't do that."

I don't understand the outpouring of pity. I started filing before I was old enough to work...legally. I organize for amusement. Of course, this is an odd little character trait by itself, but there is one further argument for filing that actually occurred to me in the midst of the swish flip swish of pages.

Filing is actually an ideal day job for a creatively minded person. What a paradox, I know! How can such a mindless, monotonous activity possibly contribute to the well being of a creative person? It's for that very reason! It's mindless, but, what's more, it's meditative! I can sit there for hours with nothing but the swish flip swish and shut off all of my brain except the creative side. While the senses focus on the pages, the mind focuses on the concepts. Since starting this job, my at-home productivity, after a day of brainstorming, is booming.

So to my covey of well-wishers, I raise a palm and say, "There is no need for your pity, for filing and I are old friends, and the more time we spend together, the more we get done. Now you may return to your exhaustion and groans on another Monday's monotone, while I and my files frolic in the silence of the mind. Boom!"

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You Know... (Part Three)

You know you're getting older when the quality of your day hinges upon the quality of your morning BM.

You know you're getting older when your coworkers no longer asked if you're seeing anyone but whether you're married or have kids.

You know you're a mythology nerd when every radio advertisement for Harrah's Rincon evokes thoughts of peacock feathers and jealous rage.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Supersecret

It is good to be back in the workforce again after the three-week hiatus. It turns out, my name came up in a discussion of temps back at Disney, and one Ghostbusters reference later, they gave me a call.

The return was bittersweet; one of my coworkers had suffered a heart attack and another had been found dead at home a few days before. It's really served as an important reminder that any given day could be the last I see someone and therefore need to appreciate these days more. On the brighter side, my return has been hailed by a storm of delight from former coworkers and even some people with whom I'd never spoken a day in my life. It's kind of cool when people notice you're gone.

In any case, whereas I once complained about being isolated in the center of everything, now I am isolated in the back corner of everything, which suits me just fine, because I have now entered Loss Prevention, or as I like to call it, the Crime Fighting Division! Even though my responsibilities are mostly filing and spreadsheets, it has been really cool so far to have a part in the rounding up of swindlers and vagabonds, Old West style (with additional technological advancements). A sheriff's badge has been suggested. And considered.

On a side note, now that I have to get up at 5:00 for this job, what I thought would be a gross inconvenience has turned out to be very useful. I now have more time in the evenings to write, and so far, productivity is skyrocketing. Again, it is good to be working.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Implanted

It is fitting that I should meet the unexplained en route to a lecture by Dr. Roger Leir via northbound 101. Traffic moved at a crawl, which gave me ample time to observe the heavens. Somewhere between the Silver Lake Boulevard and Vermont exits, I observed a bright light zooming toward the west, much like a helicopter would, only much faster, brighter, and without a single blinking light. I was elated to see so bright a shooting star in the midst of downtown Los Angeles and planned to watch it until it disappeared. It didn't. In fact, it slowed down, turned north, and vanished over the Hollywood Hills over the course of ten seconds.

I'm quick to conclude aliens. This is the second unidentified object I've seen in the skies over LA (the first being a whirligig-shaped object hovering over Montecito Heights in broad daylight). I like to think humans aren't alone in the universe. I like to think we're not the supreme sentience in this universe. Argue for God, argue for Angels, argue for Aliens. There is something out there. As part of my ongoing quest for a belief system, I decided this lecture/service for the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON), held at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Studio City, would be one not to miss.

I will skip the details of how many of the flock bore an uncanny resemblance to aliens themselves to focus on the subject of this talk. Dr. Leir is one of the world's leading researchers into the physical evidence of an extraterrestrial presence, chiefly through the removal of implants. Trained as a podiatrist, he discovered his first implant during surgery on a patient who had come into his office complaining of foot pain. An X-ray revealed something unusual in his foot next to his toe, and on removal, the object was found to be metallic. There were no signs of scarring, nor had there been an immune response. It was just there.

Dr. Leir's lecture detailed two such objects that he had removed recently. The first emitted radio waves between 14.74965 and 17.68658 MHz, but were not radioactive. Its elemental composition was found to be an iron base with traces of Gallium, Germanium, Iridium, and other rare metals; it was meteoric. When removed, it crumbled; when placed into a serum of the patient's blood, it reassembled. An investigation of the patient's home revealed extraordinary anomalies: bromine-enriched soil, a magnetized avocado tree and boat, and an apparent unipole, in which only one magnetic pole is observed.

A scanning electron microscope (SEM) analysis of the second object detailed its structure. When removed, it was in an oil-filled tissue capsule with a high concentration of lauric acid, an antibacterial compound. The group was unable to cut the device with diamond-tipped tools and had to resort to a laser. This was not meteoric, but a collection of microscopic carbon tubes arranged in such a way as to appear organic. For the conceit of an implant, it did not look like a device at all, but in the field of nanotechnology, that's apparently the point.

I list only the facts of the case as they were presented via PowerPoint. Images and statistics were presented; the matter was scientific to its core. How, then, is there still doubt to be had? Why, despite the number of studies done on the subject, is the existence of extraterrestrial life such a moot point in the mainstream community? I assume it is because the three steps of abduction, implantation, and return have not been recorded chronologically; the devil is in the details. On that note, there are plenty of scientists who believe in the Devil, and angels. There is zero physical evidence for the latter beings, but let us compare, for a moment, an angel encounter and an alien encounter.

The Bible is full of angels, delivering messages from above, accompanied by fire. They either visit their subjects at home (the Virgin Mary) or take them away to change them (Moses). People continue to report extraterrestrial beings in their room, or taking them away on high to change them. So why is it that those who have been visited by an angel become saints and leaders, while those who have visited by aliens become shunned and denounced by greater society?

One could argue that aliens are less likely to speak to their abductees, whereas the sole purpose of angels is to speak. One could argue further that aliens do not seem wholly benevolent, whereas an angel is required to be so. Nonetheless, is the veracity of these claims not subject to faith? Isn't the disdain for alien hypotheses the same as that for Galileo's - a resistance to those hypotheses that decrease the cosmic importance of humanity?

I look at Dr. Leir's cases, and I appreciate the evidence for what it is. Though I have not seen the cause but only the effect, the idea of extraterrestrial influence appeals to me, not only because three different psychics have offered the view that I am somehow part alien, but also because I believe their existence would increase the grandeur of "God's" creation far beyond "people." If there are other "people" out there, tracking us, changing us, shaping us, then is that not itself a question of angelic/demonic intervention? Does it prove or disprove God?

My question for Dr. Leir was cut off by the end of the program, but I was able to ask him half of it: If these are truly instances of a higher power implanting these devices into people, what are the consequences of removing them? Wouldn't these beings be angry? Do the objects ever reappear? Do mysterious things happen to you? All he was able to tell me was that his patients had experienced a tremendous sense of freedom after the objects had been removed from them. That was all. Is not the notion of freedom itself, amidst countless causes and stimuli, a matter of faith?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Parkour

As part of my New Year's Resolution to mix up my athletic activities, I checked out a Parkour club in Santa Monica on Saturday. For those unfamiliar with the sport of Parkour, check out the following video:


Assuming someone actually stuck with my humble blog instead of searching for more videos of the like, I'll continue. Three days after the fact, I can still feel the three hours of leaping with some intensity. The most basic introduction to Parkour worked muscle groups I didn't even know I had, finger muscles, for instance. But what a workout.

By way of introduction, I and the other three newbies had to practice our kongs, or cat jumps. This introduction consisted of us running cat style across the grass. I don't mean scuttling around on all fours. I mean friggin' Sabertooth.


In any case, I never thought my body could move that way without strings; in many ways, it still can't. Nonetheless, this is one of the most essential moves to Parkour, especially when it comes to vaulting. One of the main elements to a kong (and one of the parts I had the most difficulty accomplishing) is the positioning of the legs inside the span of the arms, whereas I'm accustomed to the opposite. I was hesitant to try the technique while vaulting and instead opted for the side vault. It'll be something to work up to.

Shortly thereafter came the jumps, my favorite part. The most important part of the jump, I very quickly learned, is the landing, and boy, is there ever more to landing than just staying on your feet. It's all about moving with the impact to absorb it as much as possible, or to roll it. I hit it like a board, and I had to sit out for a bit. Nonetheless, I got the hang of some basic precision jumps (from sidewalk to low railing), and I absolutely loved the Tic Tacs, where we would use the momentum from leaping onto a stone obelisk to vault onto the upper stairs by the Santa Monica Pier. I won't lie that the excited tourists with their cameras did a bit for my ego, even though they were all focused on the advanced traceurs.

Honestly, taking into consideration the past few years of minimal-impact activity and the potential for injury jumping back into high-impact activity, I don't know how deeply I'll be able to delve into Parkour. Will I be able to do any of the flips? Will I dare? I think it may take a few years, but the other question is, will I have that kind of time and motivation? We will see. I had fun, the workout was great, and there is potential for a friend base. Next weekend is rain, but the weekend after, I may try it out again.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Family Friends

There was a concept discussed in my Religions of China class during my sophomore year of college that really struck me: filial piety. Filial piety is the respect of the child for the parent, and it is one of the utmost virtues set forth by Confucius. Basically, it is the responsibility of the child to uphold the family name, honor the parents, take care of them, and ensure male heirs. I had trouble with all of these, the least reason of which being that I won't be producing any heirs in the near or even the distant future. By societal standards, since I won't be continuing my family name, I will be doing them dishonor. I took this to heart, and since that class, I've felt responsible for the emotional well-being of my parents.

While reading Boundaries has helped me draw the necessary lines and allow my parents responsibility for their own well being, a big boost came this morning over brunch at Mimi's when it finally clicked to me that my parents had a lot of friends and that they could actually go out and do things with their friends and have a lot of fun. This hadn't occurred to me when they announced their joining a wine club. This hadn't occurred to me when my dad texted me pictures from mountain running with his friend. It only occurred to me when my mom announced that she and my dad had been invited to spend some time in their friends' beach house in San Diego, just parents because none of the kids would be available.

It's kind of funny when I think about the little prison of naiveté in which I've kept myself locked for so long. I seriously believed that being an empty nester was the end of the world, and well, let's be honest here, after watching my dad fall asleep on the couch at 7:45, I'd begun to wonder. Nonetheless, the realization that both of them can still go out and have fun, even when I don't call, promises to be very liberating. They want me around; they don't need me around. If I choose not to accept an invitation home, they won't be permanently wounded. It all sounds so silly, but I'm actually excited, not because I want to see my parents less, but because I don't have to bend over backwards to keep them happy.

New Workout Regimen

One of the fun features of Asperger's is a tendency to set a routine and adhere to it viciously, and nowhere has this been better expressed than in my gym attendance in the past four years: weight training Monday through Friday, alternating push and pull. Occasionally, the thought occurs to me to change routines, and so I do. Then I continue that routine rigorously for months on end, long after it has lost most of its efficacy.

I'd like to mix things up a little more this year, chiefly because my body is screaming for more cardio and flexibility work. The years of weights have made me dreadfully stiff. So, here's a tentative new weekly schedule. It will probably fluctuate (in fact, I hope it does), but at least there's a basic structure to it.

Sunday
Stretching. Yoga, maybe?

Monday
Weights: Pushing exercises.

Tuesday
Weights: Pulling exercises.

Wednesday
Cardio: Running, jump rope, or whatever else comes to mind.

Thursday
Weights: Pushing exercises.

Friday
Weights: Pulling exercises.

Saturday
Cardio: Running and/or hiking.